It’s been a pretty busy and rough week, but I’ve been trying to stay positive and focus on the things that make me feel good, the things that I can control.
I had a meeting with the Nisut (AUS) on Wednesday. I’ve never scheduled an appointment with her before, and to be honest, some of the reason that I did was simply because I never had before. I probably could have talked to other people about the subject matter, but I decided that maybe hearing a neutral voice of reason would make that much more of a difference to my head. She didn’t tell me anything that I haven’t really known or thought myself, but I have a way of doubting my own rationale and all that. I think that’s pretty normal for a lot of people. All in all, it was really nice to sit down with her and have that one on one time.
After that I took part in the Wednesday evening Dua for the week, which was celebrating the Return of the Eye of Ra. The actual day of the event was Friday, but I think I’ve mentioned before that the House does celebrations twice a week in a chat to try to get the maximum number of people involved. It was my first Solstice celebration with the House, and it was quite lovely. I offered Hethert a plate of clementines, some chocolate chip cookies, and a glass of orange juice and played one of my favorite songs (Gone with Leaves from the Hero soundtrack) during a part of the litany that called for joyous music.
I decided to wait to burn my red candle until the actual day of the Solstice though (yesterday) mostly because I didn’t want to leave a candle burning in my room unattended, but also because it just felt right. I performed my own little shrine ceremony that I pretty much just ad-libbed as I sat there and made new offerings and lit my candle. I was pretty proud of myself, even though I did stumble over what I wanted to say a few times. For the most part it felt pretty natural though!
In other good news, I won the statue of Khepera that I was bidding on, and I should receive it the first week of January. Mimafdet of the Kemetsy Shop that I spoke of in my last entry is currently finishing up a custom piece of Khepera for me as well. She’s sent me a few progress photos, and He’s just amazing. Once I ask her permission to post the photos, I’ll pop them up here for people to see.
Another really great moment for me this week was receiving Moomas cards finally. I was getting to the point where I didn’t think that anyone was going to send me any, mostly because I joined the list so late and people had already sent out cards. It was starting to sting a little, because I hate being left out, but as of yesterday I’ve received four cards. They were all quite lovely, one of them custom made with a golden cow covered in stars. The best part for me was that they were all personalized – mentions of how great it is to see me back in practice and on the forums, and even a “welcome back home,” which almost made me cry, because it’s practically my exact words, that this faith has felt like home to me.
So, it’s been a hard week, but there have still been quite a few things that have fed my ka. (: